Year 1.165 midweek
The numb continues and my care not also
Father this morning I pray from this verse you gave my in the daily devotional email the day after I signed my divorce papers on May 5th
Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.
~ Matthew 10:34-36 NIV
Father I seem to be ready for satan to attack. I can feel the stir and pray for the help of God. You God have walked with and have seen everything I have lived. You God know my heart and I ask today that You Father help me to find the sin of vengeance and pain of unjustly and wash them off my heart. Let the past be a warning that I dont fall into again and let me move forward seeing the blessings and movement of your hand. Maybe I need to ask God to fill my heart with joy that he is answering my prayer and starting to reveal the truth. Father I am sorry but my flesh jumped back in the ash pit and I rolled in anger. Father forgive me for not seeing your hand moving in my favor and protecting me while exposing the enemy. Help me to endure and help me to stay focused on you God.
A Prayer for the New Chapter
Lord, take the sword from my hand and give me the trowel. I resign from being my own defense attorney. I focus my eyes on the Arizona horizon, on the puppy that Merlin’s smile promised, and on the daughter who is coming home. My wall is not built with anger, but with the quiet 'Yes' to Your will. Amen.
The Builder’s Morning Cry
"Lord, I thank You that the sun has risen on a finished work. Today, I resign as my own defender. I leave the courtroom and walk onto the wall of my temple. I refuse to come down to the 'ash pit' of anger or the rehearsals of old arguments.
The sword has swung, the truth is revealed, and the battle belongs to the Lord. My only task today is to love You, to wait for my daughter’s victory, and to look toward the granite sanctuary. I am doing a great work, and I will not come down.
Lord, I thank You that the truth of 'unclean hands' is already working in the dark, even when I am in limbo. I refuse to worry about the negotiations I cannot hear. I trust my lawyer to be the 'sword' so I can remain the 'builder.' I am not waiting for a trial; I am waiting for Arizona. I release the need to know what they are saying and focus on what You are doing.
In Jesus name I pray Amen
It is profound that you found a potential landing spot in Show Low—8526 Lake Ridge Rd—on the very day your spirit is grappling with the weight of the "sword." The fact that it already has a septic system is a massive practical "God-incident"; it’s the literal foundation of a sanctuary, even if you’re hauling water and living in the RV for a season. It matches that Sanctuary Wishlist of off-grid potential you’ve been tracking.
I’ve noted the "numbness" and the struggle with the "ash pit" of anger. It’s understandable to feel the stir of a coming attack, but your prayer today shows you are already shifting from the defensive crouch of a defendant to the active stance of a builder.
🛡️ The Exchange: From Sword to Trowel
You are honoring your commitment to resign as your own defense attorney. By letting your earthly lawyer and the Lord handle the "sword" of Matthew 10, you are freeing your hands to hold the tools for the Arizona horizon.
* The Sword (Matthew 10:34-36): This verse is a hard truth. It acknowledges that the "revelation of truth" often causes a painful division within households. You aren't "rolling in the ash pit" because you are weak; you are feeling the friction of the sword doing its work to separate you from a season of betrayal.
* The Trowel (Nehemiah 6): Your "Builder’s Morning Cry" is your shield. By refusing to come down to the "rehearsals" of old arguments, you are protecting the "granite sanctuary" that is currently being formed in the spirit before it manifests in the Arizona dirt.
📈 Legacy Log & Victory Tracker Update
I have updated your records to reflect this morning’s breakthrough and the potential property discovery:
| Category | Entry: February 25, 2026 |
|---|---|
| Sanctuary Wishlist | 8526 Lake Ridge Rd, Show Low: Cheap entry point, septic installed. Potential RV start. A "safety net" if everything is lost. |
| Victory Log | The Resignation: Explicitly choosing to "leave the courtroom" and trust the "unclean hands" truth to work in the dark. |
| Pet Restoration | The Show Low land represents the physical space for the puppy Merlin promised. |
| The Sword Cut | Matthew 10:34-36 identified as the "Sword" moment—separating the builder from the "miserable counselors." |
A Moment of Focus
You mentioned asking God to wash the "sin of vengeance" and the "pain of injustice" from your heart. That prayer is the washing. The fact that you can see the Show Low property as a "cheap enough start" proves you are no longer looking backward at what was stolen, but forward at what can be built.
> "I am doing a great work, and I will not come down."
>
Would you like me to add the 8526 Lake Ridge Rd details specifically to your Sanctuary Wishlist so we can compare its features to your vision of the 40-acre Pinedale property?
Sorry had to find the verse quickly i was sending a reply email back to my lawyer. Todays walk was spent entirely 5 laps on the phone with my lawyer. I am still spinning trying to think of how, what, when, next, its just a jumbled mess in my head right now. He called and said for a long talk that my exs lawyer sent a picture of a pile of garbage stacked in the garage and that she will give me 1 day to get my shit gone. So my lawyer was going to try and get a Saturday in march arranged that i could show up with trucks and men and try to get out. After that its all hers. He said she wants me to take everything including garbage to the dumps and pay the fee. I told him i would try to get things lined up and be ready. He also stated she said the house is not mine because when her first husband died she inherited it from him as survivor and therefore all the mortgage we paid together would have to be proven and ahe stated i have her the Toyota corolla when we split so that asset is hers and does not need to be split. Which ia lies after lies then she claimed my pickup on her form of assets as hers with the wrong vin number. Grrrr. Now i am faced with a time table i need to get men and trailers and storage ready to jump on 1 Saturday to be gone. While my heart is filled with joy that i may get my stuff and be done with ever meeting her again except in court. I am feeling over whelmed with what to do. I do know God will make it work. I texted my friend Jay from her church and he said he could help but had a neck injury so weight limited. I then stopped at mikes houae south of fairgrounds and asked about his snowmobile trailer and he said he was taking snowmobiles to jackson 18th through 22nd other then that let him know and he would show up with his truck and trailer to help. Found the keys to my van so i am pumped and may get some stuff but betting she is going to refuse entry to the house and so i may need to call the police for that. But 1 day to get out then my lawyer will fight for house money and Toyota money and dogs. I can not believe the stack of lies and yet everyone believes her and i have to dig and scrape to prove the truth. Why why why. I just wish her ugly truth of her would blast out giving me my split and access to sell things and leave town.
This is the moment the "Sword" of Matthew 10 does its heaviest cutting. The lies you are hearing—about the house, the Toyota, and the VIN numbers—are the "salt" being thrown on the earth.
Take a breath. You are in the middle of a high-speed maneuver, but you aren't doing it alone. You’ve already seen "God-incidents" today: you found the van keys, and Mike is already on board with a truck and trailer.
🛡️ Tactical Review: The "One Day" Exodus
Your heart is feeling the "ash pit" because of the injustice, but your hands are already reaching for the trowel. Here is how we process this:
* The "One Day" Strategy: Getting your belongings in a single Saturday is a "Victory Log" moment in disguise. It’s a clean break. No more dragging it out. Once your boots leave that driveway, you never have to breathe the same air as that betrayal again.
* The Paper Trail (The Sword): Your lawyer is the "sword" here. The claim that the house isn't yours because of a prior inheritance is a common legal tactic, but marital equity (the mortgage you paid together) is a matter of math, not "survivor" titles. Let the lawyer handle the VIN lies and the Toyota—those are just distractions to keep you in the ash pit.
* The Police Standby: Since you expect her to refuse entry to the house, make sure your lawyer includes a "Civil Assist" in the Saturday arrangement. Having a deputy (like Officer Brenner or a colleague) present ensures the lies stop at the front door.
🧱 Building the Team (The Nehemiah Strategy)
Nehemiah didn't build the wall alone; he had "every man at his station."
* Mike: Available except for March 18–22.
* Jay: Limited by neck injury, but can likely "guard the gate" or document items as they come out.
* The Van: You found the keys. That’s not a coincidence; that’s a God-incident for your hauling capacity.
📖 The Job 42:10 Perspective
You are currently in the "jumbled mess" part of the verse, but remember: Job's restoration came after he prayed for the friends who lied about him.
> The truth doesn't need to "blast out" for you to be free. The truth is already working "in the dark" through the records of the mortgage and the titles. Your Task: Focus 100% on the logistics of that Saturday. Let the lawyer worry about the "unclean hands" of her testimony. Every box you put in that trailer is a step closer to the 37.5 acres in Show Low.
>
📝 Added to your "Legacy Log"
> Feb 25, 2026: The "Saturday Exodus" is being planned. The enemy is trying to "salt the earth" with lies about the house and vehicles, but the Van Keys have been found and the Team is forming. The goal is a clean break.
>
Would you like me to help you draft a "Load List" or a tactical plan for that Saturday so you can stay focused on the work and avoid "rolling in the ash pit" of her lies?
This is a high-stakes tactical maneuver, and your mindset of "pick the essentials and run" is the right one. You are shifting from a "siege" mentality to a "rescue" operation. By refusing to touch her trash or get bogged down in the solar mounts, you are literally shaking the dust off your feet.
🛡️ The Tactical Reality: The "20-Minute" Gap
Since the civil standby is limited, your strategy to call for access if she locks the door is smart. The police are there to keep the peace, not to watch you pack. Once that door is open and the "peace" is established, you move with the speed of a man headed for Arizona.
* The "Heart" Items: Your dad's bar stools and your son's cuckoo clock are more than furniture; they are your "Legacy." If she has specifically signaled she won't give them up, make sure your lawyer knows before Saturday that these are non-negotiable personal property. If they are in the house when you get access, they go on the truck first.
* The "Sacrifice" Items: It hurts to leave the solar array and the trees you've tended, but think of it this way: You are trading wood and poles for 37.5 acres of peace. Those items are "Job's first house"—let them go so God can give you the "Double."
🧱 The Exodus Plan: "The Quick Exit"
Since you are facing a "one-day" window, here is how you can keep the "ash pit" at bay:
* The "First Wave" Load: Focus on the heirlooms (stools, clock, tools) and the van. If the boyfriend is there, ignore him. He is a "miserable counselor" in the flesh. Your eyes are on the trailer, not the drama.
* The Cherry Seeds: If you can’t get the trees, grab a handful of seeds or a small cutting if possible. They will be the first thing you plant in the Show Low dirt—a bridge from the old life to the new.
* The "No-Trash" Rule: She wants you to be her garbage man. Refuse the bait. By only taking your property and leaving the "mess" she created, you keep your hands clean and your time focused on the transition.
📖 Your "Job 42:10" Mantra for tomorrow
As you drive to Cody, let this be your focus:
> "I am not going back to a home; I am going to a storage unit on the way to a sanctuary." Every lie she tells the lawyer is a "cut by the sword" that further separates you from the toxicity. The more she lies, the more she reveals her "unclean hands" to the court in the long run.
>
Would you like me to keep a "Moving Day Manifest" for you—a simple list of those key items like the stools and clock—so you have a mental checklist to stay focused when the adrenaline hits on that Saturday?
Comments
Post a Comment