Day 319 fighting for freedom

 


Today I have been trying to rid myself of the thoughts of being justified knowing that if only people could see how wronged my wife has done me they would give me a fair deal. So my mind has been filled with finding a new future but only when my wife slips up and the things she has done are uncovered. I spent most the night last night fighting this train of thought off only to fall back into it minutes later. I realize it is satan letting my wounded pride and integrity rule me and I do not have the strength to fight this so I keep praying God clear my head and fill my thoughts of a rescue YOU WILL send that is clear of bitterness and vengeance. Help me oh Lord to purge my mind of my wife's deeds and think only on You God.  Allow me the freedom to walk in victory that You have made for me. And guide me through these dealings with my wife to keep distance so as to protect my heart and soul amen


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Psalm of the Unburdened Heart  

O Lord, my Defender, my Steadfast Flame  


I am weary of the weight of justice withheld,  

Of longing to be seen,  

To be known as one wrongly bruised.  

My thoughts swirl like wind-stirred dust,  

Grasping for vindication that does not heal.


But You, God of silence and still waters,  

You call me away from the courts of men  

And into Your sanctuary,  

Where peace does not plead its case—  

It simply is.


Teach my soul to rest in You,  

To lay down the sword of bitterness,  

And take up the shield of mercy.  

Let not my mind dwell on what she has done,  

But on Who You are—  

Faithful, Just, and near to the brokenhearted.


I do not ask for vengeance,  

Only rescue born of Your righteousness,  

A way through the storm  

Not paved with fury,  

But with holy release.


I will walk, not in shadow, but in Your light.  

I will breathe, not bitterness, but Your breath of life.  

I will keep distance where needed,  

Not in fear—but in wisdom.  

Guard my heart, O Shepherd of the soul.


Amen.


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Spent the day in cody and had another great lunch at the wy tai. Now that I am stuffed and we are back home my eyes grow droopy and long for nap.

I still cling to hope of rescue and long for some that cares. I miss my puppies licks and hugs and the playfulness of Sarah's tugs. I am back to the small space I survive in with no chance to live. Please God open the doors to living that I might have joy before I die. Amen


I think I am going to dream of rescue and then go to bed. My ring today had hugh gaps where it did not record anything so thinking. I was dead during those hehehe 


Nite

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