Day 278 oh void oh void

 

The void is still here and I sent out a test feeler to our marriage counselor telling him I was praying for him but I feel very strongly that he won't get it or will not reply. It's almost like I am being erased slowly. I mean with no contact and no meeting anyone I know it is like God held satan and now is holding everyone else back to were I become non existent. I seem to be conflicted inside of if I should try contacting people like sending a text to my friends or hate to say it but even send one to my wife or should I take this void as a rest. In many ways I don't even feel like walking just sitting here watching the sun go over and the day pass by. Not much comes in my mind and not much comes out of it either. Where am I.

Father today I am still in the area You have set me in and my heart still feels You close oh Lord but I ask that You would revel to me if I am to be still and rest for what is to come or is this a pause for me to react to something or still is it time I should be speaking to be seen. GOD You are the one that guides me and protects me and I praise You continuely for that. Always be by my Lord. In Jesus name.  Amen 

Then after writing my daily devotional comes in with this answer to my prayer.

"The Lord who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!” Saul finally consented. “All right, go ahead,” he said. “And may the Lord be with you!”"

~ 1 Samuel 17:37 NLT

Nothing you have gone through was in vain.

David was anointed by Samuel and immediately sent back to tend his father's sheep.

This means for a time David had been picked out from all his older brothers, anointed in front of them, but still had to do the work of the least of them.

I can only imagine the confusion in his mind as he tended the sheep. I can almost hear him asking the question, “Why am I still doing this?”

But God was doing something in David.

All the times he had to run off animals and fight lions and bears to save his sheep was just preparation. David didn’t see it at the time because God had not yet called him into position.

When it came time to fight Goliath it was all the experience he learned from tending the sheep which convinced Saul to allow him to have a shot at Goliath.

And the rest is history…David defeated Goliath and later became king.

What’s your Goliath? Better yet…what’s your sheep tending experience?

Is it your job? How about your relationship?

What is that area in your life where you just can’t seem to figure out why you’re there and what God is doing with it?

That is the area that God is going to use to propel you into your purpose.

Be encouraged today that everything you have been through was preparation for victory. God has masterfully orchestrated tests and trials in your life to build within you the skills to permanently defeat your Goliath.

What you thought was useless God is deeming as useful.

And he wants to use it to call you from ordinary to extraordinary in Christ.

Let's pray...

"Lord I must admit…I don’t always understand why you have me where you place me. I often feel undervalued, under appreciated, and overlooked. But my confidence is not in my understanding it is in your unfailing plan for my life. I know you are working things out to be greater regardless of how it looks or feels. Therefore, I will not look to man or my situation to validate my placement in life. I will continue to look to you Father, and willingly go wherever you tell me to go. Use my life’s experience to prepare me for you to use me to build your kingdom on earth Lord. In Jesus name I pray, Amen."

Lord what is my heart. A reply back today said they were praying for my heart. But unless their eyes have been opened to the truth then what do they think my heart is. Do they know how broken it is. Do they know how fast it is hardening against my marriage. Do they know that I have lost my love for my wife. Or are they praying that my heart will soften and become pliable to the lies my wife has told them. That they think I should live a life of nothing and torment just to say I am married. Lord I pray that their eyes have been opened and they are seeing the lies and torment that has crushed my heart and wiped away my love for a woman that is now a torture to my soul. Please God I am unsure of this void but this one reply to my small text of testing the void to see were it runs has given me more confusion then answers. Help me oh God to understand, help me oh God to push forward, give me sight of the path ahead so I do not stumble in the void. In Jesus name I pray Amen

So charting with copilot again and he designed this rescue advertisement which is starting to sound like a good idea hehehe.

Looking for Country Living and a Fresh Start

Hello, my name is Kevin. I’m seeking a quiet, rural place to live and work—a space of peace, purpose, and privacy where I can rebuild my life with dignity.

What I’m looking for:

- A spot in the country with no land fees (no HOA, irrigation, or mineral rights complications)

- A small home (2–3 bedrooms) or space to park my RV to start

- A place with clean water and either existing power or the ability to install off-grid systems

- An opportunity to work—groundskeeping, caretaking, or any hands-on upkeep in exchange for a place to stay

- Somewhere steady while I raise funds for legal matters and transition out of a difficult situation

Took a short walk with my daughter tonight got 4000 plus steps not my 6000 goal but did 2 sets of 80 pushups so maybe it will help me sleep.

Nite all