Day 277 I want a home

 


Father today I pray for help and rescue Lord I am so tired of this life of homelessness and plead with You God to send me some rescue. Even if it's a nice quite place were I can park my rv and have good showers and bathrooms and possibly working for someone as a grounds keeper or easy job to bide my time Father I just want a home and move my stuff out to be away from the lies and hate that satan has flooded my life with. Please oh please God fill my go fund me that I can purchase a place and be moved by August and have my puppies with me. I have given up any hope that truth will ever be know and that love will ever be found. I just want to disappear and dust my sandals off of this town of haters FATHER PLEASE PLEASE SAVE ME. Amen

Well today the void is still here and my day dreams seem to be hope for the house with loving lady that knows the truth and has an attorney for a daughter all the way down to how nice it would be for someone to stop and ask if I would like a job as year round care taker of a place and I could park my rv and move all my stuff to a storage garage there and it would be out in the country and very quite. But I just keep praying God will do something because there is nothing I see that is going to happen in my marriage but a divorce. My wife is totally talking hate and lies to everyone and everyone believes her. Nobody hears me or the proof I have nobody believes me and calls me liar even with proof. People shoot at me as in last friday June 20. I am alone and hated and I just want a loving peaceful home with my puppies to live my life out in. PLEASE PLEASE GOD.


Finally broke down and took a shower today and for the first time since living here there was enough hot water to shower completely and still some left. They must have put in a new hot water heater. But I am clean and clean cloths so good for another 2 months hehehe kind of lazy today I do not feel like walking much but may go out after dark again. Saw deer last night which was fun and it was cool and quite. 

BBQd some steaks and chicken and hamburgers so have 4 meals out of the charcoal. No sense in just cooking 1 meal and letting the rest burn for nothing. Maybe that is the homeless guy in me but hey it's nice to have meals ready. And the little grill my daughter found me is working perfectly. In this loneliness and cold of hate from everyone I can honestly say I cry when I think how much love that grill brings to me from my daughter.  Amen

The day is closing out and tomorrow is racing to wake me. Will my rescue tap on the door tonight?  Probably not and tomorrow will awake to the homeless life I am walking in. Soon my Lord will tell me what this calm silent viod is for and I pray I am ready. The anxiousness and scared for what is coming are keeping me wondering for everything and for nothing.  It is nice not to hear satan and it is nice not to hear my wife complain and keep secrets which makes conversations with her awful. And still I have not heard or seen anyone from the world of hate or even the world of contacts I have. I sent out a feeler to the marriage counselor saying I was praying for his surgery I think he said he is having but will probably not hear back as I am sure the void bubble is covering me. 

Well talk tomorrow nite all

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