Day 266 my worldly life sucks

 


Man I keep waking up deeper down in the feeling low bucket. I so so badly want a rescue from God it just hurts to want this bad. But that is why I need the walks because God meets me and fills me. I could not even imagine the cold hopeless struggles this would be without God. Thank you Father for everything amen

 I don't doubt God because every morning I wake up feeling the weight of homelessness and the depression of loneliness and it is all I can do to eat. But I know when I step out my door for my walk Jesus is right there with dogs wagging tails waiting for me to wave hi and birds running along beside me on the road and squirrels playing around and chasing me is all a heart filling fountain of Jesus. And yes I complain and whine about my life and my marriage and so badly wanting God to rescue me. But God puts His hand on my chest and say wait and feel protected. And God gives me so much to do like volunteering at food bank and this weekend I had to call and ambulance because someone fell and cut their head. And all anybody did was seem to ask me what to do. But she was ok and they got her to the hospital. Then right after that the neighbor dog next to the rv park came through the line and I said Hi Cookie and she licked my head and jumped around while I put the box in the car. Just so much love from Jesus. Yet every day I whine because I don't understand what God is doing but I never lose faith I just am tired of this struggle and want a new relaxing field to work in. Amen

Today was hot around 90 and was a nice walking day. Jumped in the ditch twice to cool down. The animals were scarce but the big great dane was sure happy to be waved at. When I was almost done with my walk I got a text from my daughter saying she had a present for me and I would see it when I got back to rv. When I was walking up there was a grill sitting by door of rv. I guess the rv park owners were cleaning out stuff that was left behind and so she claimed it for me. It was so sweet it made me cry. What a special day for me thank you God for a great day.

So now I need to get grilling hehehe have to head to cody tomorrow for doctors and will pickup grilling things may just do burgers and chicken Tuesday and reheat chicken wed grill few meals at a time while still have hot charcoal then spend days eating hehehehe 

Father again I ask for rescue get me a place to live and help to get all my stuff moved there. Then get my puppies to me and an attorney to file divorce and the proof of lies and anything that will help me get my fair half of the house to pay on my new place and get everything moved off my other place and get all the legal bs on it cleared and sold so maybe my new place will be paid for.please please Father rescue me and protect me. Amen


Nite

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