Day 260 the morning after?

 


After yesterday's little exchange of texts today will need all the strength and protection God can give.

Father watch over me today and help me to lean fully on Your strength and protection. Lord keep me safe from the on slaughter of words and accusations I know that are sure to follow even though they might not get to me Father keep them and turn them to truth. Place contention between my wife and the pastor that seems to be pushing this agenda and bring truth to the marriage counselor that he will see his biased ways. Father I still do not know the outcome of this test satan is running me through and if there will be the wall of hate and false accusations my wife has built around herself or if it falls and I move to a nee field but I am ready to serve you God and pray the You will teach me and love me as I try my best. Thank You God for all you do in my heart and life. Amen

The day was slow from 4:30am till 10am then as it started to heat up the day went faster. I started my walk and little early since my daughter wanted to walk up to pharmacy and back then headed out on my walk. Saw most the animals bring goofy and miss black cow was super crazy as all the calfs ran to the fence to see what I was she started that half charge half proud stance which made me laugh so I played the faces and body language game with her. As I got ready to make my second long loop I jumped in the ditch and cooled down and washed a bit. Stayed wet almost the entire second long loop which was 9.4 miles so big walk today. Got back around 5 and now just finished games so heading to bed till it cools enough outside to shut down AC. Been day dreaming all day about a home and my puppies and getting out of here. Also many thoughts of what satan is planning. My out victim the victim my wife played yesterday is surely doing something and I just wonder were it will go. Specially since I tossed in my friend and his wife that she yelled at because she said ahe was jealous about her calling me and should never call me only her other wise we were having and affair I gather but then she ran to the pastor (not me) to confess and said he told her to apologize but since it had been 2 weeks they never came back to church so she never apologized as far as I know and since the pastor was involved as others I pointed out she should tell that story to the marriage counselor which would undo a bunch of thr lies she has told him. I know satan is planning a retaliation to it but I pray God will block the fight and give me the victory over this. Amen.  

I just do not see my wife doing anything to try and repair the hate and lies she has built with all her family and some of mine. So if nothing is brought down I will never return home and I so badly want a home with my puppies. I do not see it and yet God holds me in this state of false accusations and lies and hate only to walk with me everyday and prove without doubt God is loving me. I just do not understand. 

But no words, texts, anything today so probably be Thursday when we are suppose to have marriage counseling and she will cancel as usual and grrrr if I had a home I would quit. And maybe that is why I don't have a home yet because God is working and I am needed to stir the pot and boil the stew till God saves and cleans then I will find my end. I thank You Lord for trusting me in this endeavor but man it is hard and I really mean hard. Keep walking with me Lord because I need Your Fountain. Amen

Nite

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