Day 257 thought maybe I would see if my wife might try some effort

 


Yeah it won't work and it may seem pointless but I should lavish love to all they say. So I sent a text to my wife this morning asking if she had any goals for meetings or relationship then asked if there was anything I could pray for. So I pretty much doubt if there is any reply of contact and I really pray that there is no call unless it's to meet but I think I am going to push the secrets and passivity as much as I can and if she gets off her ass and puts some effort into saving her marriage then great if not when God says the door is open you can move to a nee field I will have done what I was able to think of doing. 

Today I got fed up with the silence and secrets my wife has been keeping for years but fell back to these last few weeks in marriage counseling, so I told them I was thinking divorce is going to be our future because of her lack of attentiveness and abundance of passivity. I pray Gid will guide me and strengthen me as I keep reading Job Chapter 5.

My exact communicate was

Text to group counselor and my wife : my hope level is now -5 or more. With the lack of attentiveness and abundance of passivity I am reflecting back to session 3 were you told me about the verses the elders had found to justify my wife divorcing and see the last weeks indicating the future.sorry

Which of course led to this reply

Not sure the verses but I am sorry that there is so much time that has gone by.  We did know this was not going to be quick so I would ask you to stay the course.  Think of what you can did to bring courage to your wife. Keep praying for her.  Patience is a virtue Jesus had to master as well.  Remember the excitement at the temple when He was 12?  God didn’t call into direct ministry for another 18 years.  Bless you brother and thank you for being sure she has a window to your heart.  

Which is what I kind of expected but seems to be alot of me being wrong and pray for my wife to love me? I almost don't think there ever was a course and now they are floundering.

Anyway made 8 miles today and sat in the ditch and washed my feet for a spell then came home. Pretty hot in rv so turned on AC and sitting back for games now.

It 8pm and not a peep from anyone since the text so I  am falling asleep while I play games. Father I pray that tonight my rescue will begin. LORD send the one that will lead me to a home and an attorney to clear up the legal and my puppies Father. Let me be on a new path tomorrow Lord. Please Lord protect me the deceiving and lies and pull the truth from them. When my wife tries to play the fear act and put me to blame Lord stop her tounge and fill her mouth with confessing Lord let them hear the lies of secrets she holds and clear the door for my escape in Jesus name I pray amen


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year 1.4 soot sooty

Image
  This is the day the Lord has made. I still am upset that this day will pass so quickly and I will have nothing to reflect upon except the speed at which it went by. I am still homeless and lonely and praying for help and rescue yet the adversary is still parading around and gleaming in the happiness of their lies and getting everything the world can give them while I scrape to survive and pray for every speck of love God will give me. I watch as the people around increase in violence and rage and hangings and shootings and assassination threats become the everyday normal. People killing each other without regard to other lives and all for the idea of a skin color, a monetary status, a better idea of life, etc. God is shut away and satan rules the lives around me. I am hated and isolated for the peace of God comfort and protection. There is no way God will fix my marriage because the hate and attempted murder. God will keep me away by their hate to protect me. There is no way God ...
Read more

Year 1.178 noise noise

Image
  This mornings daily devotional email was in my inbox today so the battle rages on. This morning the noise is loud and I mean loud. Starting at 5am cars starting and reving up and car alarms going off and sirens racing past the camper. All with the level like they were inside beside me. The noise and busy still echo and pound and the world is trying to be noticed. It's like satan is driving the point of the associate pastor in the police car straight at me. But God let's a devotional email through this morning about using Gods lens on the out come of our world.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. ~ 1 Corinthians 9:27 NIV The saying "mind over matter" is missing one word—spiritual. It should read "spiritual mind over matter," but the overlying theme remains true no matter the version you use. This phrase speaks to the power of your thoughts and how all ...
Read more

Day 244 the memorial day weekend whoppee

Image
  Maybe I am just seeing the negative in my marriage and wanting it to end. Should I be concerned that my wife does not respect me. Should it not bother me that she only talks to other men and leaves the house to stand in the yard so I can't hear. Should I care that she doesn't talk to me at all about anything to do with other people and that her social media life is totally a secret life from me. Should I worry that she tells other family members to hate me and try to drive me away.  It just seems so hard to be in a world like this and think that is what God wants for me.  Today's devotional was about hopes and this is my hope. This is soooo true and everyday when I go on my walks Jesus is right there loving me the whole walk. And I see it weather it's the dogs that run to the fences with toys and wagging tails just to see me wave hi or the squirrels sitting on fence posts watching do pushups. Or the horses and cows running up the fences for a good head scratch.  Je...
Read more