Day 243 Praying for God for direction

 


This morning I feel compelled to send the question to marriage counselor about double life but again still feel hesitant because I know she will never change and admit she denies me her other life. GOD YOUR THE ONLY ONE THAT KNOWS THE OUT COME OF THIS AND YOU GOD ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HEAL AND FIX THIS. So please God guide me to where you need me. But Father please make it this month I want a summer to be in rest and peace with flowers and grass and trees. Father if a new life divorced from my wife is what will be then please thus week make it happen. If YOU Lord are going to put contention between my wife and all the men in her secret life then do it today. Lord if You are going to bring forth the truth of the death threat then do it today. FATHER I WANT OUT OF THIS HOLE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GOD LET ME MOVE TO A HOME. Amen

What would be the perfect outcome for my life.

Having the proof of my wife's attempted murder come out forcing her to confess of it not caring if it was a true attempt or just a prank to scare me with her total narcissistic behavior it would never be found out. But if an attorney found out, and how she got officer Campbell to remove it, so that I could stand a chance of getting my half of the house money to start a new life with would be all I want from her. But my restart would be getting all my property moved to a new off grid home out in the country with no neighbors and good water. Getting my puppies and then a divorce and forcing my ex wife to change her name to Coronado again so as not to ruin my credit rating from her using my last name. Getting all the legal mess from my property in worland cleared up and then everything moved off to my new home and that property sold. Ending up with enough money to buy a GMC Denali EV with a long range battery and leer 122 high rise camper shell raised in the back with the little skylights windows on top. And money to buy a pellet grill and start converting my tractor to EV and buy some trees and flowers and landscape.  Oh the dream I dream daily. 

I guess now that I think of it this meeting together that my wife supposedly came up with 2 or 2 times a week has not worked since it was brought up. We have met once for a walk and it has never been mentioned since then. So pretty sure that a dead deal as well. 

I feel so bad tonight the summer Solis is almost here and fall will be soon and I am still swimming in this sewer shit and God won't help me. The bible says God is faithful yet I am left here and all the hate and lies build deeper and deeper around me. GOD NEEDS TO SAVE ME BECAUSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN. I WISH HE WOULD DO AOMETHING INSTEAD OF LEAVING ME IN THIA SEWER AMEN


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