Day 231 new week no newness though

 

How long must I wait for change. I want a retirement life. I would like a spouse. I want a flower bed to care for. I would love my puppies. Today I see none of this in my future. My futures seems homeless, bleak and pitiful. How much longer God must I endure.

Daily devotional was great today.

"This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. "

~ Habakkuk 2:3 NLT

It’s the waiting that’s hard.

You may have named it and claimed it. Released faith to obtain it. And even received a revelatory word from God himself that it is yours.

But you will still have to wait for it.

God does not operate in the same time as we do. He is not called into action by overdue bills, insufficient funds in your bank account, or the latest sales.

God operates in the time required to bring your seed sown into full harvest.

The problem is you don’t know the time required for God to bring forth your harvest. When you come before God with a request, he hears every prayer. Only He knows how long it will take for the answer to manifest in your life.

I would go out on a limb and say if you knew how long it would take and how much you would have to endure, you wouldn’t ask God for half of what you have already asked him for.

This is why you are called to trust in God. Trust in his ways and his abilities. Trust that although it is hard right now that your promise is not denied.

Trust that He knows your situation better than you do and that He is the solution.

It is easy to find confidence in a check or dollar bill in hand. You know that you can redeem the cash at a cash register and cash the check at your local bank.

God wants you to have that much faith in Him and the unseen. It takes time.

It is in the waiting that your faith will be tested, grown, and proven.

And it is proven faith that God responds to. The greater your faith, the greater your blessing.

So don’t just wait patiently on God, wait faithfully.

Let's pray...

"Lord, I’ll be honest. I know you can do all things but at times it’s hard to wait on you. I am constantly tempted with the idea of taking matters into my own hand to relieve the pain. People advise me with information that makes sense but lacks the necessity of faith. Lord help my unbelief! I want to believe in you more than I do my job. I want to have more faith in you not failing that I have in a dollar bill not returning counterfeit. You hold my future in your hands Lord. And that’s exactly where I need it to be. I trust you Lord, even when I don’t feel like it. Faith in you is the only way, and I receive it in the name of Jesus. Amen."

It's starting to storm right now but my walk is over end and finally no was just resting the font hehehe. The walk was nice there was a nice friendly goat out coming into town and I thought of videoing it but didn't for some reason and after he ran up to me and played then let me put him back in his fence and pet him I walked away wishing I had grrr hehehe but maybe tomorrow he will be out. Today is mother's day and since 2006 when my wife threw away a 300 dollar pair of ear rings I got her for her birthday because they were zirconia and she will only wear real diamonds I tried till 2009 to get gifts and nothing was good enough for her. Yet everyone else that git her gifts was perfect so she started letting me know that I and my gift were and would never be good enough for her ever. And yes she did let me know all the time that her sisters husband good make breakfast in bed for her anytime but she never want me to even try. So on mother's day all I can say right now it hell with it. My mom is dead so I have nothing to celebrate about or with.

Well my wife called even on a Sunday of no contact. Said she cried almost all day from the pain in her leg. I hate to say it but it seems like a very distant friend telling me about a leg pain that I know its just for complaint because they tell me I am not good enough to be around them. Everyone hates me and therefore I can't be around them so I listen but there is nothing in my heart for my wife because she has me totally blocked out. Why God would I want a non relationship marriage. Why would I want something that will only make me stumble instead of grow. Why would I want a person that will NEVER be as one with my and we would be sinning against you Lord. Proof remains hidden so I am trusting You Lord are either waiting for the proper time to change all hearts and make me acceptable again and be able to merge back to a marriage of joining as one were my wife will turn to me totally or for the right time for all the house and people to  come together for the exit of proof to make me vanish. Either way Lord I pray it is soon. Amen

Nite