Day 225 Cinco deMyo

 

Nothing like seeing a lady pushing her baby carriage in the clouds hehehe.  So May the 4th be with you came and went and now its Cinco DeMyo day not that I remeber what is celebrated on it but tump will toss it out I am sure since it is not white supremacy worthy hehehe

It's rather cold today so probably won't get much walking in but my daughter has a doctors appointment at 1 so we decided to walk up early and have lunch at copper corner Cafe which was good and then went and sat in the library while she met with doctor. Will probably head back and maybe make a round or 2 of the fairgrounds to get my 6000 steps in then go sit on the couch and relax for the rest of the day.

Nope got back from lunch and 56 degrees with major wind chill was down to like 40 so I flagged my 4000 steps as good and stayed warm hehehehe. 

Still have concerns about this meeting my wife at least 3 times a week which we had a short walk after marriage counseling and then a walk Saturday which she pushed and got a blister even after my continued asking if she wanted to sit for awhile and then head back but it seemed pushed and had to prove she could walk with me for long distance. That kind of tells me not much has changed in her thinking because she has always told me in many ways she is perfect and I am totally not good enough for her. When someone tells you for years and years that they don't want you to cook anything for them because you can't do it the way they like it but then tells you the men that can.  And when every gift I get is not good enough so she gives it away or tosses it out then yep I can say for definitely I am not good enough. So now I am filled of thoughts of what to say if I try to give the example of her sharing everything I text her with other men then taking their word for what I mean instead of asking me and keeping it private breaks my trust and tells me again she doesn't respect me or care for or marriage. And I have this overwhelming feeling if I try to bring this up in session I will be cut off and told how bad l am for thinking this way which tells me one that the whole counseling is bias and I am being shamed into conforming to her slave puppet and will never have a relationship or they are so tied into her lies satan has them by the testicles and is leading them down the path of her wishing. I mean today in our phone call she started ranting and raving about how bad her siblings are because they dont care for their mother like she does and they aren't good enough because they never stop by to see her. And that was because I mentioned getting her mother's photos out and letting her keep them by the dinner table or couch so she and constantly look through them for happy thoughts. So doubt if that will ever come to pass because lord knows any advice I give is worthless to her and she will only listen to her pastor man or sisters husband.

Well that sure pissed me off just typing it so man I am calling it for today and going to listen to the rain for awhile

Nite