Day 217 I see the trails but do not know

 


Working to hard and never getting done. I used to have this problem then about 28 years ago the Holy Spirit said do the tidy up things and God will let you know when the next project should start. When I started this attitude I would get a feeling that now was the time to do a project and it went extremely fast and easy. So I would look at my list and rest for the next prompting. God has never let me down and it has always been good. On those occasions when I jump the gun because I feel it needs to get done I struggle for weeks until I step back and wait. But now that I am homeless and I feel Gods hand on my chest saying wait it seems hard to say I wait a sign or this done and God says wait. So I do what little I can and wait. But I see lots of fires on the horizon and say. GOD ONLY YOU CAN PUT THOSE OUT.  So I wait.

Hey is that a cow belly marriochie band hehehe

Today seems like a slow easy day pretty much like the rest of the days. I am sure my wife has read my text several times and shared it with her pastor friend and told him she does not have time to pursue our marriage much less does she know how and he will jump in with all the advice of how to make him happy and when she tries it on me and finds out wrong man wrong ideas it will be so sad. I just feel sad for her because she says all these nasty things about how everyone hates me because she told them how bad l treated her and now she is telling me and the marriage counselor the total opposite of she loves me and doesn't believe in divorce and now I have pinned her down even more to try and be a part of the marriage which will make her mad and tell everyone I am treating her bad again. Then when she offers for me to come over for a meal I will have to refuse on 2 reason.

1 her bother, daughters, and my youngest son, believe her hate stories and do not want me around her or the house and I am sure the circle of them is growing as she complains more.

2 the amount of perfume her daughter and her have spread throughout the house and her car makes it impossible for me to not get pneumonia from being in it. I will not go into a place that would be unhealthy for me.

These may make her decide to either start tearing down the wall of hate and getting rid of the perfume or she will make more hate which will lead to more perfume.

But the day is warm almost 70 again and nice breeze so will head out for my walk around 1pm and try to jog 1 mile today hehehehe.  May have to switch to cutoffs today but tomorrow is suppose to be cold and down pour of rain. Maybe salamanders enough rain hehehe

Today's walk was super fun there is a great dane dalmatian mix that is all kinds of funny dog hehehe and he was out today. 



And yes that's a 4 foot tall fence he is standing on hehehe.

Made 6.68 miles today and actually jogged 1.25 miles of that so feeling really good. Think I am going to try some super beet stuff for my blood pressure and maybe some hibiscus if I can find some at wally world. The jogging is bringing it down some.

Guess it's getting closer to shut eye time. Haven't heard a thing from my wife although sunday and Wednesday are her no contact days because those are the days she is at the church with her pastor working hard to make him happy.  But Monday starts a week of her pursuing the marriage so we will see if it even works or if she is to busy to deal with her marriage. And I will bet you if I don't hear from the marriage counselor before Thursday I bet he really tells me how bad of a person I am expecting my wife to care about our marriage.

PLEASE PLEASE GOD HELP MY DAUGHTER GET HER SSI AND AS SOON AS SHE MOVES ON BRING BACK THE DEATH THREAT AND GIVE ME THE PEOPLE TO HELP MOVE, BUY A HOUSE, DIVORCE, AND get my puppies returned to me so I can start over for my retirement. Please please God amen


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year 1.4 soot sooty

Image
  This is the day the Lord has made. I still am upset that this day will pass so quickly and I will have nothing to reflect upon except the speed at which it went by. I am still homeless and lonely and praying for help and rescue yet the adversary is still parading around and gleaming in the happiness of their lies and getting everything the world can give them while I scrape to survive and pray for every speck of love God will give me. I watch as the people around increase in violence and rage and hangings and shootings and assassination threats become the everyday normal. People killing each other without regard to other lives and all for the idea of a skin color, a monetary status, a better idea of life, etc. God is shut away and satan rules the lives around me. I am hated and isolated for the peace of God comfort and protection. There is no way God will fix my marriage because the hate and attempted murder. God will keep me away by their hate to protect me. There is no way God ...
Read more

Year 1.178 noise noise

Image
  This mornings daily devotional email was in my inbox today so the battle rages on. This morning the noise is loud and I mean loud. Starting at 5am cars starting and reving up and car alarms going off and sirens racing past the camper. All with the level like they were inside beside me. The noise and busy still echo and pound and the world is trying to be noticed. It's like satan is driving the point of the associate pastor in the police car straight at me. But God let's a devotional email through this morning about using Gods lens on the out come of our world.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. ~ 1 Corinthians 9:27 NIV The saying "mind over matter" is missing one word—spiritual. It should read "spiritual mind over matter," but the overlying theme remains true no matter the version you use. This phrase speaks to the power of your thoughts and how all ...
Read more

Day 244 the memorial day weekend whoppee

Image
  Maybe I am just seeing the negative in my marriage and wanting it to end. Should I be concerned that my wife does not respect me. Should it not bother me that she only talks to other men and leaves the house to stand in the yard so I can't hear. Should I care that she doesn't talk to me at all about anything to do with other people and that her social media life is totally a secret life from me. Should I worry that she tells other family members to hate me and try to drive me away.  It just seems so hard to be in a world like this and think that is what God wants for me.  Today's devotional was about hopes and this is my hope. This is soooo true and everyday when I go on my walks Jesus is right there loving me the whole walk. And I see it weather it's the dogs that run to the fences with toys and wagging tails just to see me wave hi or the squirrels sitting on fence posts watching do pushups. Or the horses and cows running up the fences for a good head scratch.  Je...
Read more