Day 208 is this the fix or end

 


Now the watch, work, and wait thing.  

So today I was thinking that maybe I should try to attach fear into abandonment and see if we can talk more about what fears we have that form a feeling of abandonment. Yeah I think that would be a way or should I say the Holy Spirit thinks that would start to draw things into a talk of individual and not a point the finger at what we think caused.

It's cold still around 35 degrees and snow on the ground and man I just don't feel like getting off my couch today. Just had a nice burritos smothered in chill so I am stuffed and ready for nap really hehehe it is warm enough that snow is melting and running water off the RV. 

My daughter had a friend come by and take her to lunch so that will give her a happy time away from my gloomy self. I just am at a pause in steps right now. My wife seems to think we need to save our marriage but so far the only thing she has done is tell me she loves me and reply a few times. But guess we will see if she takes what the counselor said as she needs to make her husband a top and only priority even above her mother. 

Well the call went pretty good tonight and we added in the FEAR invoked by the feeling. Again my wife tried to tie it to a blame but I corrected her again and said this is not a blame it is what we feel.  So here I the high lites.

4/18/2025

Abandoned 


Kevin- the feeling is like being a ghost in a room. No one notices me and I am not connected. There is no interactions and so the feeling means being ignored. Like standing on the side watching a social gathering with no connection to anyone.  The Fear - Is not being a part and losing the abilty to be part of the relationship and pushed out.


My wife - the feeling is like being left alone and no one there for support. Having to do everything by herself.  The Fear - Being overwhelmed with so much to do you can not stay up with it all.


And nope I stayed inside today and did not walk. Wasn't bad but wet and melting at 40 degrees was the high so I was lazy. And might be tomorrow.


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