Day 204 The world hated Jesus before It hated me so don't be surprised

 

Wowbmy last two daily devotionals have been right down the line of what I needed to hear and yes I forgot to post yesterday's till today so now I have 2 on the 14th hehehe oh well today was up and down but it seemed way better then yesterday till I talked with my wife. I send her a text saying 

Just checking to see if you had anything to talk about repairing marriage, relationship, or broken hearts tonight. let me know what time to call? Thanks

So I am so tired of being called bad or liar etc that yes I made my script of what to say and stuck to it. Of course she said we need to communicate and be honest then she brought up the conversation we had over marriage counseling but the one she was talking about was in 2023 and I moved out in 2024 so nope not even close much less I never said I was mad at her for not wanting to go to marriage counseling I was mad because she refused to see a licensed professional counselor but instead kept saying "I will only talk with my pastor. And you can do whatever you want to".  So that is what I was mad about never said I was mad because she walked off but I sure as heck acted mad.  But with a ton of dead air I kept pressing on with questions about what she ment was communication like and she said over and over it had to be both of us together. Then she pointed out I use to send her pictures and scriptures which I was sending her goodnight gifs and morning gifs and pictures from my walks and ai pictures for 6 months with maybe a thank for the pictures once month. Did she ever initiate a picture or post or love message twice she sent me a good morning hope your day goes well text when the counselor suggested it for her homework that is it. But nope she hit it again that she is to tired to do that kind of stuff while taking care of her mother. So I asked if we should just put our marriage on hold till her mother dies and she said no. But you need to communicate also it has to be both of us. And in the last 3 years she has never asked me to help her with her mother and I know she never will. So yes it's the good old scenario of you need to do it all and I will just do what ever I care to do as long as it is very very little. NOTHING WILL BE FIXED.  So pretty much dead end there. Afraid God I need Your help to overcome on this. All I can do Father is put it in Your hands. Amen

So tonight it's post for sure time and the hit the sack. Maybe or maybe post and day dream for 3 hours till socks the cat is ready to go back in the laundry room since she some how always comes to my RV to get me when she wants in hehehe