Day 201 I had my ass handed to me.

 


Satan beat me up so badly yesterday. But here are some of the points taken from yesterday 4/10/2025.

1. My wife mentioned that her mother did not do well with new faces around and was having a problem with it. The marriage counselor asked 5 times in different ways if there was a new face in the house and she ignored him every time.

2. My wife did not have any idea what the next step to rebuilding our marriage was. I was asked and said it should be getting me permission to move back in. There was some discussion and my wife said she wasn't talking to her daughter or brother or anybody about it. When asked if she would she said she is trying. That was good enough for the counselor.

3. my wife pointed out that she does NOT believe in divorce which is total opposite of our second session when the COUNSELOR pointed out all the bible verses that give my wife permission to divorce me.

4. The counselor pointed out that he had talked to my wife and the pastor and he ONLY has my wife babysit on Fridays and he had asked them separately so he knows it's the truth because I am the only one that lies and he pointed that out because I mentioned in my text the word "daily" so he knows I can't remember things and lie since it was not daily. Which once on a Monday and twice on Thursdays in the last month of March during our nightly calls my wife had to point out she didn't eat lunch because she had to feed her mother and then the pastor's grandson so I knew she was lying and yet the counselor told me it was all me.

5. The phone call stopped when my wife brought up the lie of me telling her why I was moving out because of her not wanting marriage counseling I started in on the truth of the Only thing I said was I  am moving out. And since that was dead locked the counselor ened the call.

6. Then the counselor proceeded to tell me if I did not confront the people I felt were lying throughout all these years then I must be the only one lying. and  he told ne this 3 different ways. I got mad enough to walk out. 

And yes I yelled at GOD alot because he is leaving my in this hell hole with my wife lying and everyone backing her up and all the proof I have is washed away because evidence does not over ride my wifes lies. God has forsaken me and doomed me to rot. Why can't he bring back my death threat from my wife's lover I filed with the police. Why can't God help me get out of this hell. 

So today almost touched 80 degrees which was warm after the winter but felt nice. I went for 1 walk of 2 miles while I waited for my friend Cory to come over and then he and his dog walked another 2 miles with me which was way longer then we should have but we get to talking about God lives and satan etc and we could probably talk 2 days straight. Hehehe

But came back and complained so more to God but I NEED to start doing this every phone call with my wife.

Hello do you have anything to talk about, About rebuilding our marriage? (Knowing her response will always be no) I am sorry to hear that. Was good to hear your voice will talk tomorrow. Good night Good bye.  

And hang up

Yep that is what needs to be done. She has spent this entire time making excuses of to tired, can't concentrate, can't think, or doesn't understand. And has not contributed ANY action, desires, or input, I to saving our marriage. The only thing she says is she wants to save the marriage. And everyone thinks that's great but I am the ONLY ONE fighting to TRY AND SAVE the marriage. But that stops right now. From now on any ideas will have to come from her and any drive will have to be hers. If the marriage counselor can't get her involved then he will have to make the call for her to divorce. Which will be interesting now that yesterday was the very FIRST time she said "I don't believe in divorce". Which either means her husbands must die or be killed because she won't split anything like her house that we both paid 18 years together for. If I knew for a fact I would get half the house money and had a place and movers to move me in 1 morning I would divorce her ass Monday right after I moved everything out. 

PLEASE PLEASE GOD I AM SO TIRED AND SATAN IS WOUNDING ME TO THE CORE. I NEED YOU TO PULL ME OUT OF THIS CONFLICT AND GET ME TO SAFE GROUND. PLEASE PLEASE FATHER HELP ME.


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