Day 200 Is there an attack coming today!!!

 

Pray for me if you would. After 3 weeks of no communication with my wife, and asking the marriage counselor if he has heard anything because the last thing I heard back on march 20th was she had high fever and could not talk. I feel a major attack by satan coming. I do know just like Daniel I can walk into the fire and GOD WILL protect me completely. Today for marriage counseling the counselor just texted me and said, him and I will meet and then call my wife. So this is getting really upsetting. Pray for protection, calm, God to control all my words and actions that eyes will be opened and truth be spoken so that all the glory goes to GOD.  Amen

Yeaterday I mentioned that I had ask the counselor if he had heard anything because I had not.

Shortly after asking this prayer my wife called me and said  I sent you a text awhile ago saying I and my mom were feeling better so I was waiting for you to ask me to talk. All I could say is "that's unbelievable" and she asked what is to which I had no reply. How could you get someone that is so self centered to understand they need to put a little effort into the relationship like say maybe call and say they can talk now. I mean its a pretty simple thought but one my wife will never have because she is to involved in her life and her pastor's needs for her that I am crap in the corner. I so feel that her pastor is going to be present at my marriage counseling today but I will have a few comments like either he goes or I do. Then I so badly want to say oh wait before you go let me say to you what my wife has said to my all the time since 2023 when you and her started private marriage counseling.

"Pastor told me to tell you that everything you have said, done, thought for the last 25 years has been a fictitious fairytale lie" and then add "And she always says I am only talking to my pastor or doing what he says and you can do what ever you want to" then change it to say I am only talking to pur marriage counselor and you can do what ever you want to. Hehehe and yes I am afraid that is coming out if he is there. But I am just so disappointed in all this crap and know that satan is pushing it. Yet they all think she needs protection and love since me the one fighting for her love can't get a spits worth of it.

I am going to be more non talkative from now on. If our phone calls at night start to be the same oh this is why I am so tired etc etc then I  quit talking and say good bye. Unless she wants to project anything or efforts towards restoring our marriage I will stop the conversation and hang up.

On to more positive.  Taking my daughter to the doctor she feels she may broken her ankle.  Then off to pray and back so then back for quick lunch and then my walk today will be to church for marriage counseling and back. May take the long way home out to the badlands and back down to the wrc bridge and back to RV. 

So this afternoon was a total shambles, when I got to marriage counseling, the counselor was there and so we called my wife and started talking over the phone with her a present. He started asking questions like, what did we think was the next step should be in building our relationship. He got after us about not communicating properly about talking to each other and letting each other know when we wanted to call, when we didn't want to call because She had told me no so many times and then he got after me about saying in my text that aaron was taking his grandson over there every day or at least on Tuesday and Monday, I called and he was over there and so, but they only said every Friday. So that was a big lie, and then I confronted her about turning the kids against me. The counselor said there was no evidence of that happening and they only believe my wife not me. Well, then the marriage counselor asked about the Moving Out and she said, well, once again, he moved out because he was upset that I didn't want to go to marriage counseling. And I said, i've never said anything about that, and then it got into a heated argument He said she said, you'll know he said he said it, and then uh, that's what she got through to him was that, oh, he was lying. I'm in lying because that's what she said? And she only tells the truth, and I'm the liar, so now he got onto the subject of well, do you think you'll be able to talk your daughter into letting me move back into the house and uh? She said, no I haven't talked to her yet. And so he started coming up with ideas of how to talk to her and uh, so from there it went on downhill about he said she said, I tried to complain about her turning my children against me. And he said, well, that's just not there's no proof of that. I don't see any evidence of her. Turning your children against you and turning anybody against you, even though your daughter says it. She says that yeah, your daughter and her are good friends and have been friends and are still good friends. She just hasn't talked to her since you guys moved out. And my daughter even told me that she tried to get her to hate me. The lies that she was using, and so once again, i'm the bad guy because i'm making false accusations that my wife was turning my children against me and so after that, we got into the uh, she finally hung up and he wanted to talk to me alone. So then he starts telling me all this stuff about how bad I am, how abusive I am, how much I'm lying. I should have taken care of all this stuff. 5 years ago 6 years ago I should have confronted everybody. And I'm going, I'm not an a****** like you are. I don't go out and tell people, Hey, you said this, my wife even said so I wait and let God try to sort it out. It was such a fiascal and satan was so attacking today. It was just satan, satan, satan. All over the place it just made me sick. I finally got up and walked out and said, I'm good. I'm done with this and he said, well, I'm sorry, I said well, maybe next week will be better. And he said, thank you for that. I don't know if next will happen but I sent my wife a text tonight. See if she wants to talk. But I'm afraid all I'm going to say tonight is I don't care about your mother. I don't care about your daughter. I don't care about anything in your life. If there's anything you want to talk about between us and our relationship, any ideas? Any thoughts on how to get it back together? Then let's talk about that. If you don't, let's hang up and call it a tonight. And she did call and when asked had no ideas and I started in with how about we tell the truth and she went right into me that I was lying about not saying I moved out because of her not wanting marriage counseling and ai know dam good and well I never said it so I just hung up. Pretty sure every phone call this week will be me saying we are only going to talk about our relationship and she will say she has nothing and I need to start saying OK sorry to hear and say good bye and hang up. I AM SO SOCK OF THIS I AM YELLING AT GOD TO GET ME OUT OF HERE PLEASEEEEEEEEE 

Nite