Day 199 Its warm and the pond of marriage is still frozen.

 


It could be 100 degrees outside but they marriage pond is frozen solid. My wife seems to only text or talk to everyone behind my back and I therefore am left alone, puzzled and scared. I need to lean on God and listen to Him but I am confused because way back when marriage counseling was starting and the days were still warm in October I think I prayed for a sign and that day my wife asked to hold my hand. But every since then it seems to be more distance growing and God seems to be holding my chest saying wait.

My VA counselor decided to terminate my counseling since I don't score high enough on the mental scale to need counseling but I will have 1 more session in 2 weeks and then just stay in group till I decide I don't need it.  So now to move on with things. I soooo need a sign of were I am heading. So my prayer today is please please GOD hear me and give me guidance as to were my path might be I know you have whats best for me in mind and I at this point am confused do I move on will there be a change in my wife to be honest and dependent upon my love and care for her.  Will she change her heart and mind and tear down the walls to allow me back into her life and will you God build a massive wall between my wife and her pastor. Or do I move forward and get a new place to buy and move to where I will remain for the rest of my life. Father let me know what I am to do and think and give me the words to say and the actions that will glorify You oh Lord in everything AMEN. 

I feel satan trying to mount an attack with my marriage counseling and tonight I am pleading with God to protect me and ward off satan.  Put total contention between my wife and her pastor and make them turn on each other let them confess in anger against each other and let the truth be brought out. Father guide me and give me all the words I need to say for your glory.  

And it now has been 1 year since my ordeal with the brown recluse spider bite and after 20 plus surgeries and 3 months of wound care and now I am down to a bandage for 1 more month and I will be free hehehhe so happy. 

Tomorrow folks

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