Day 191 Am I the Fool

 


The day of Fools to which I must be for the trust I have had in marriage has brought me to Here.

Today I sent another texted to me wife telling her I was praying her and her mother got better. Doubtful she will reply but after 9 hours last time she did when I knew she wouldn't. I also sent a happy birthday wish to our granddaughter but I have no idea if the phone number I have is still correct or not and very much know there will not be a reply from her. So am I the fool for doing what God asks and being kind to those that hate me. I know everything God has prompted me to do seems to bring about some type of change in the battle front. So I will continue to trust in Gods directions and know that LORD GOD is in control. I have a thought in the back of my mind that if the marriage counselor asks how our phone calls are going I should say "we have not talked since March 20th. I did send texts to check on calling but for the first 6 days she kept saying she had a fever over 100 and could not talk. So I felt that either it was some type of laryngitis or she didn't want.... No that wouldn't be right. I know that when she is well enough to communicate again she will let me know" this would throw a thought of her not wanting to talk into the counselors head since he was totally unaware that she was trying to do everything to make her pastor happy by babysitting his grandson and when he found out went straight to the pastor to stop it and then told my wife he would like to spend some time talking to her about it. The timing on this was perfect and has brought some change to the arena but I do know if I go before a judge (knowing my wife will contest the divorce since she is trying to hide the house asset as to not split it) she will have her church and pastor on her side saying I am crazy and abusive and trying to kill her and lie all the time. If I have no proof of her lying since she has erased the death threat recording and erased my complaint to the police. The the judge is going to see bad person and I get destroyed and nothing. I really need God to help me prove her lies and find the recording and complaint. PLEASE PLEASE GOD MAKE IT SO.

My wife again texted me back after 8 or so hours and said she is feeling better but still has lite fever and cold sores in her mouth and nose still, which is her herpies and thank God my tests came back negative because I think she has more then I will know.  

But the sun is falling behind the earth and the chill of night is moving in. So I am going to play some games and pray for God to help my PI find my recording and complaint to the police and maybe get it reactivated so my divorce with be level and not skewed by oh poor woman your husband is trying to kill you like you said NOT, amen

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