All I can do is try to think of anything and all I get is dashing thoughts of bits here and bits there. Then it drops back to praying for God's help. I keep praying over and over that the recording will be found and my complaint will be found and not for the purpose of justification but for the reason for divorce. I pray that with this reason I can get my half of the house money and my belongings out of the house and yard and have a new place to move them to and I will be able to get custody of my 2 puppies and then get the place in worland sold and legal battles over and use all that I get to pay down the mortgage on my new place. That I can start this summer out with no more trying to stay married to someone that does not want it and be free to return to my life of retirement. Maybe have enough to buy an updated pickup and do some traveling with my dogs and daughter. I just pray for YOUR hand GOD to hold me through this and guide my to that green field od piece were I might rest for a spell.
It was another splendid day to walk and people seemed nice and said pleasant things all 2 of them I ran into hehehe. I did find my heart but it had turned to stone already.
After my walk I sat and mooped around and played games then waited to see if my wife might try to contact me but I am 100 percent certain that she sent me that picture to get me mad and tey to force divorce so the temperature being high and making her unable to talk or text is BS pure and simple. And of course she never tried so I think next week I will let counselor know I am through although I have this feeling pushing on my heart I need to wait for private investigator to get back to me. Today he said he emailed both police departments greybull and basin with inquiries and is waiting to hear back so I think God is setting more up. It seems the timing of asking about her pastor having her babysit and the elders did not know about has led to a question time. So far they are asking why and no it should not be etc etc but nobody has said anything more to me. Although her pastor is starting to text me invites to stuff he knows I will never go to. But I just ignore it all. So maybe the Holy Spirit is right and I have a feeling what I have typed up, which does not point fingers at fault or person but just says I am emotionally exhausted and the fight is more then I can sustain therefore I am done. But yep I feel very strong about waiting on PI to get done and if the local PD are checking then there is hope they will find it and start to see what is wrong and why I would check into it so hard.
Well snow maybe tomorrow and wet all weekend so brrrr back to march hehehe
Praying God for the police to find my complaint and to bring it out and start checking into it. Why was it erased/changed why was it not delt with and was there bribery in getting it removed. Please please God make it happen then open the door for a home and my puppies and moving that all will go swiftly and the divorce will be over faster then a week and after the move so I can start a resting pause in my life to regain mental balance and control. Please oh please Lord let it be by Your Hand that this goes forth and hold me to each step as YOU would want me to take them. Thank You oh Lord for everything and my mental health through all this which I know is only because You Lord have protected me Amen
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