Day 183 Mmmmmm what to say

 

9am

I guess morning would work hehehe

So at what point do you change from absence makes the heart grow fonder to absence makes the heart grow colder? I am just not sure if my wife will ever want to make the changes to get me back home with her or if she really wants to get a divorce but has such a perfection complex that she doesn't want to smear her Christian Cosmetics.

Her words are so faige that she nevers says anything that would indicate feelings, emotions, or love. Her actions totally show no caring or desire to want me back. Like her daughter drowned her car in perfume and they know I get pneumonia within hours of exposure yet when she offers me a ride and I hold the door open and let it breath while I role down the windows and put on my mask she simply complains "I can't smell anything" so I know she will say you should move in but tawny and I are still going to drown to house in perfume making it uninhabitable for me.  I also know she is trying her darnedest to hide the house so I can't get my half. But I know God can do what He needs done. Just wish I knew better what that was. 

Well the day waa great and I wore my sandals on my walk in a t-shirt and it was about 64 degrees. And my daughter made a couple of rounds on the fairgrounds with me. But spent a nice afternoon inside and outside.

But all good things come to and end and tonight I think it just did. My wife for the 5th straight day says she is to sick to talk to me. Yet I got looking back at her picture she sent me on the first night and noticed she was wearing her sexy pink and black teddy so now I am totally pissed. And will be for a spell grrrrrr. Kick my ass please.

Ok I am starting to settle time for prayer.

Father you know the hearts and you know the intentions. My wife took a picture 5 days ago to show she was to sick to talk on the phone yet she had on a sexy night gown she only wore twice in our 25 years of marriage. Father I am pretty sure I am reading the picture right and pretty sure I am finding her narcissistic behavior to much for me to live with any more the lies and betrayal are over whelming and my heart is left empty and hurting. Father I pray that the private investigator will find the death threat recording and the police record of my complaint I filed. Please Father I plead with You being the truth out and help me be removed from this homeless bad spot I have been waiting in for 7 months Father I am so ready for You to pull me through the fight and let me be victorious in You and may it be a quite whisper so as not the scare the flock of those saved but being held captive by satans lies and hate. Help the elders to build a new fence a stronger fence and call the focus of the flock back to Your Glory and my disappearance will be as You God have instructed me through John 15:13. Father breath life to my feet that I can swiftly move forward and open the path Father that I may find a home get everything moved and gather my puppies whom I love so much and end this battle with the truth being know and Your Glory being hailed. Thank You oh God for all Your protection thus far and continuing throughout this. AMEN 


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