Day 179 I pray today for God to help me.

 


Much like Tom the flying giraffe I too wish to fly. Afloat in the sun and warm wind rushing past my ears.

But today is marriage counseling day and starting Monday my wife was saying she might not follow since she has her mother to take care of and she can't even start the car with her there. Yet for everything and anybody else she does just find. I have also noticed that the marriage counselor is very very much concerned that I don't understand how so hard a job my wife has taking care of her mother. Yet he tried last week to get her to love her mother and stop being mean by just caring for her and she did not understand. But she will lay that aside to help care for her pastor and his grandchild. Which is a action that says alot. 

Today I pray that God will help me. That He will give me the recording and re-open my complaint and that the disappearance of Kevin Hall will start. Give me the words to say and the feet to follow what You Lord will lay out for me. Amen

It's 9:30am and I finally decided to send a text out to the marriage counseling group to see if anyone was still interested in meeting today. Of course I said it nicely hehehe saying morning just checking to see if there were still plans for meeting today and at what time. To which my wife replied very quickly with "4 or 430" and that was it. So I simply replied thank you so another day of making people that are suppose to be close to me upset and those that don't know me happy. 

The sun is starting to peek out so maybe the RV will start to warm up. They say maybe 50 today so that will be nice.

It got up to 50 for a couple of hours during which I walked to marriage counseling. It was rather strange I mean the counselor seemed to be running right down a good agenda and then he started asking my wife about how to show she cares for me and she went to the same routine she does on the phone calls. I am too tired and can't think, and I don't understand etc etc which then she jumped into a crying scene and got upset so he comforted and told she is doing these thing but why are they a risk for her and what trust do they build in your husband and that helped a little and finally he said that we need to pick a time in the morning when she is fresh and alert so she can put in an effort. Which I had to say to myself "that will really be something if she actually puts in an effort" it felt like he might be starting to see some of the real problems in our marriage and not just what she says. He did make note when he told her about the years I have been trying to get her to talk about the problems and she only talks to other men and tells me she will only talk to so and so, I can do what ever I want. Any way it ended there and now I am back in my Little RV sitting in the dark listening to the wind howl and the cold move in. Got some hot apple cider and honey and make ready for some shut eye. See ya all in am

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