Day 142 its all down hill from here


 Brrr minus 18 and cold ing hehehehe so I forgot to post my blog on the 10th so now I have 2 on the 11th hehehe oh well such is life. It's tuesday and my knee is hurting but I think I will head up monday to spend 2 nights in cody. 1 so my daughter and shower and get all cleaned up for her surgery Tuesday and then she spends the night in the hospital so I will clean up that night hehehe. Get the most out of our bucks hehehe. 

Forgot my breathing exercises last night so will have to tey and make up today. And I guess I had better walk today. My knee really hurts this morning. After the quick phone call with my wife last night I have not heard a word from her nor do I expect to till tonight maybe. 

Been thinking how nice it would be if they would catch someone she has gotten to kill me again and then victims of violence would get me a new house to move to for safety hehehe but that I am sure is dreaming again.

Maybe its just me but kind of feel like doing nothing for anybody any more. Although I did get a call from some friends from my wife's church and they need computer help but I told them not until after my daughter has neck surgery.  So maybe Friday the 21st or so. Still worried about the sickness going ramped through my wife's church for over a month now but they are sunning herd mentality so it will cycle for 3 more months and slowly get worse. Today I finished working on my taxes and filing married but separated single etc. When I asked in marriage counseling I was told the church is now the head of my wife's household and I  was not to know anything of her circumstances or finances etc so that tells me they have her in witness protection and I am going to file and say heck with her. They can do her stuff and I am refuses I no to have anything to do with it any more. 

I am going to force a walk today to get my knee working again so maybe pain will go away. And I hope it get up to zero hehehe

Well that worked like NOT hehehe my knee is killing me. Hurts so bad I am shaking like I am in shock wowser it's really feels like it needs to pop but hurts so bad to bend it or move it so hoping tomorrow will be better. Kind of hoping its just the bitter cold. 
Had a really poor phone call with my wife again. Nothing said or talked about and no I love you or send my pictures or anything so I am starting to totally get discouraged about marriage. She said I could send her some more verses so I sent some about love but doubt if they will do any good. She always says I don't remember what I read so I can't discuss them soaybe you can just read them to me and then we won't talk about them or anything. OH PLEASE GOD SHOW ME YOUR WORKING. let me know a direction to look show me Your breaking out the truth of the past and so there will be no more hidden lies to cause doubt and to lay the stones in whatever path You are building for me to follow. Prepare me to be ready to walk the path as You need me to and break the connection between my wife and her pastor so that she will be forced to face the lies that hide the truth from our past and confess her lies to establish a bond of trust. Amen

I am hurting in my heart and in my body I think its time to turn the lights and call it a night.

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