Day 138 I am weary and tired please bring out the truth.

 

Lord I grow tired and weak and so badly plead with you to block all links of my wife bring out the truth of all these years she has lied take your judgement oh Lord and crush the enemy. Cast him away and bring back or remove my conflict. In Jesus I plead with you God. I argued with God and screamed and yelled on my walk and feel better but still wish the truth would come out. Got a call this morning from blood doner folks wanting me to make appointment which I let go to voice mail and here is the reason why. 

In December I was scheduled for my regular donation and the day before I get an email saying sorry to hear you canceled your appointment. So I call the head office and explain I did not cancel so why am I now canceled and she tells me they would have to look into it so I tell her to but me back in at my time slot and ahe tells me she can't no reason why just can't but can put me in 4 hours later. To which I  said sorry can't. Come to find out one of the volunteers that schedule for them goes to my wife's church and heard I was trying to kill her or something and took it upon her self to cancel it and block me from being there at the same time as my wife and this was after I had made arrangements to ride out with her and help with her mother. So as of yet I have never setup another donation time and probably won't around here. But head office found out and has been sending me gift card offers and t-shirt offers etc and that pisses me off even more that they are trying to cover up that fact that somebody did something illegal.

Anyway back to the walk I started out in a lite skiff of snow and within 1/4 mile had heavier snow

Then after 3.5 miles it clears

Hehehe which made it nice but the walk was nice over all and some of my friends were iced over but ready to say hi.

It's so good to have soft noses to pet makes me feel happy and glad to be their friend.

Tonight I am totally discouraged by the call with my wife and her lack of communication, friendship, love etc. She says we can talk longer but won't talk about anything but her mother. If I asked her about how she us doing because I hear her sniffing she pronounces "I AM NOT SICK" and her mother has had diahera for 2 weeks now and she thinks she isn't sick but she tells me 2 or 3 times that this program or that thing, at her church is not going to happen because of all the sickness going around. Yet everyone shows up sick or not and they just run the herd mentality right through over and over. The last 2 nights she has not said I love you and she has said she will text back durning the day but has not done so at all. I am to a point were I almost dread having to call and I do not think she wants the marriage at all. I just plead with God to expose the truth she is hiding and the lies she is drowning the church members in. I also beg that I will find a place to buy in the country away from this town that I might gather my things and prepare for a new life alone. And I want custody of my dogs so bad.