Day 136 Who really is making changes?

 


Brrrr it's kind of chilly start to February which we usually start this stuff right after Christmas hehehe.

So as I have mentioned yesterday about my confusion and direction that is possed from my wife's questions and actions. I wake this morning to the feeling I should write an lament and plead with God for His will to shine through. I feel as if the marriage counselor suggested she start trying to get me to come to church with her and she is jumping on THAT band wagon then it would explain completely her response to my telling her some people are saying saving the church relationship will fix my marriage but the opposite is biblical. To which she replied "who said that". Not oh that's right or yes I understand that or yes this is suppose to be biblical. More to the reply that she thought I over heard their conversation.  which is now saying someone is trying to hide something or save their bacon by getting me back to their side instead of breaking the relationship they have to save my marriage. OH WOW GOD THAT IS IT YOU ARE WORKING. You are putting strife between them and satan is trying to bring me in to the fence to devour me with them. Oh praise you Lord for your will is true and my pleas have been heard. Father keep me strong in my field and hold on for the carnivore is snapping his jaws in my face.

Lament

Father my confusions of actions that I see happening bring me lacking.

I see those trying things that seem to be in line with restoring my marriage yet seem confusing and planned.

I plead with You Lord to help and guide and to put strife in between them and make a wall that they can not break down. 

I see signs of your healing them and making things better. 

My doubts seem to swell and my heart casts doubt on weather it is the right direction you lead Father.

So I plead again for strife and wall, give me clarity to walk through.

Then I see your work is behind oh Lord and not in the front.

I feel You holding me back and understand your hand on my chest for caution. 

This is the train OH LORD you have said is coming and You keep me from harm.

They are running afraid oh God from what you will do so they plan on how to bring me in. To devour my soul into the melt.

You Father have answered my pleas and showen me the dangers. Keep me safe my God and help me walk through the fire as I follow Your lead my God.

Yes I see the Lords will and as they fight for Gods acceptance and for my approval may the Lord cast the strife in place and bring fighting among them to toss them into confusion and bitterness amongst themselves. 

Praise You oh Praise You my God for You alone are with me how can anyone harm me. 

Man there is nothing like a good lament to bring in the Holy Spirit and align you heart with God's will. My day just got waaaay better.

Well it seems really cold tonight and the rv feels a touch cold. Our slamming neighbors in RV next to us got told to leave so they are packing and trying to get moved out of here. 

My walk went well today and by the time I got back my daughter had her neck surgery and all the pre-op and post-op visits scheduled so wow looks like two weeks and she will be done. Ran over to greybull to fill up my propane tanks today so hoping it last till warm up in week or so. 

Other then that it is see you all tomorrow 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year 1.4 soot sooty

Image
  This is the day the Lord has made. I still am upset that this day will pass so quickly and I will have nothing to reflect upon except the speed at which it went by. I am still homeless and lonely and praying for help and rescue yet the adversary is still parading around and gleaming in the happiness of their lies and getting everything the world can give them while I scrape to survive and pray for every speck of love God will give me. I watch as the people around increase in violence and rage and hangings and shootings and assassination threats become the everyday normal. People killing each other without regard to other lives and all for the idea of a skin color, a monetary status, a better idea of life, etc. God is shut away and satan rules the lives around me. I am hated and isolated for the peace of God comfort and protection. There is no way God will fix my marriage because the hate and attempted murder. God will keep me away by their hate to protect me. There is no way God ...
Read more

Year 1.178 noise noise

Image
  This mornings daily devotional email was in my inbox today so the battle rages on. This morning the noise is loud and I mean loud. Starting at 5am cars starting and reving up and car alarms going off and sirens racing past the camper. All with the level like they were inside beside me. The noise and busy still echo and pound and the world is trying to be noticed. It's like satan is driving the point of the associate pastor in the police car straight at me. But God let's a devotional email through this morning about using Gods lens on the out come of our world.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. ~ 1 Corinthians 9:27 NIV The saying "mind over matter" is missing one word—spiritual. It should read "spiritual mind over matter," but the overlying theme remains true no matter the version you use. This phrase speaks to the power of your thoughts and how all ...
Read more

Day 244 the memorial day weekend whoppee

Image
  Maybe I am just seeing the negative in my marriage and wanting it to end. Should I be concerned that my wife does not respect me. Should it not bother me that she only talks to other men and leaves the house to stand in the yard so I can't hear. Should I care that she doesn't talk to me at all about anything to do with other people and that her social media life is totally a secret life from me. Should I worry that she tells other family members to hate me and try to drive me away.  It just seems so hard to be in a world like this and think that is what God wants for me.  Today's devotional was about hopes and this is my hope. This is soooo true and everyday when I go on my walks Jesus is right there loving me the whole walk. And I see it weather it's the dogs that run to the fences with toys and wagging tails just to see me wave hi or the squirrels sitting on fence posts watching do pushups. Or the horses and cows running up the fences for a good head scratch.  Je...
Read more