Day 135 Awake almost all night and the mind still rambling.


 Cold and snow covered and I have wound care in cody. That was a trip to cody today. For the most part the highways were clear but cody town was 4 wheel drive hehehe.


Wound care is down to every 2 weeks and my daughter is approved for surgery and they said they could get her a week in rehab center since we live in RV to make sure the metal pins start building and mot snap out. This makes me very happy. I am still troubled about my wife though. It just still bothers me that she seemed to ask after she spoke alone with the marriage counselor if I was ever coming back to her church and when I replied about people thinking my relationship with church will fix my marriage but to be biblical fixing my marriage may rebuild my relationship with her church. But also her call on Sunday to say have a good day makes me feel that the marriage counselor must have told her she needs to get me coming back to her church to save her marriage. I see God working but just lost. I still plead with God to put strife and walls between my wife and her pastor since he is the one that destroyed my marriage, and that all this behind the scenes and lies will come out. I am also finding out how much it bugged me that for most of our marriage my wife knew men and would tell me their names and that she hates them because they cheat on their wives. Although I never said anything I kept thinking how would she know that and who they are if she wasn't the one they cheated with. I am pleading with God to lead me through this and help me understand were to go.

Got home and put on a quick 1.6 miles to make my step goals then asked my wife if she wanted to talk tonight and she called and talked for a very short time. Said she felt better and she sounded like she had never been sick. So now I am starting to think that she wasn't sick and something else was going on and she didn't want me to find out or didn't want to be bothered by me. I just dont know what to say or do and I pray that God will guide me through all of it and keep me safe. 

Anyway day is done and on a new propane tank so play some games and call it a day.

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