Day 132 The next month already?

 

Wait is that 3 finger bones up there hehehe I must have caught the sunrise reaching out.

 Welcome to day 1 if month 2 hahaha I do have things I am thinking of to try and get my wife to talk about her heart feelings from scriptues but I also think she won't want to listen since she hasn't our entire marriage. And now more then ever she wants to only talk to another man and not me, so once again I find myself pleading with God to put strife and break all communicating and feelings of attention between my wife and the other man. Bring them to total discord and anger towards each other. Father force her to turn her attention to her marriage and work there towards it instead of away with him. 

As I was thinking last night the word betrayed seems to come to my mind about my marriage.  So I looked up some verses and this is what I found and it was pretty good.

Here’s 10 Verses for When You Feel Betrayed-

1. God is always there. He will never betray you.

For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. ~Psalm 27:10

2. Do not be tempted to repay evil for evil when you are hurting.

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. ~1 Peter 3:9

3. Trust in God’s timing and know that He will defend you.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” ~Romans 12:19

4. Surrender your hurt and choose to forgive.

Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. ~Mark 11:25

5. The Son of Man also experienced heartache and betrayal.

After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” ~John 13:21

6. Jesus was betrayed by two close friends. Find comfort in knowing that He understands your hurt.

The Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” ~Luke 22:61

7. We will experience heartache in our lives- do not grow weary!

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. ~Hebrews 12:3

8. Cry out to God. He is there and is listening.

But I call to God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice.  ~Psalm 55:16-17

9. As God provides comfort to you during your trials, look for opportunities to comfort and encourage others.

God comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ~2 Corinthians 1:4

10. Do not be held down by the weight of your hurts. Press on and walk in God’s calling for your life!

Forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead; press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 3:13-14

Especially Mark 11:25 so as I try to ask for her prayers and find verses for her on each prayer let me also try to help her heart feel the Holy Spirit and not just a 1 dimensional sheet of paper to try and remember.

I am thinking alot today about my prayers 2 days ago in which I was pleading for a direction and it seems that I now have a direction of helping my wife learn about Jesus and talk about Jesus as a real person. And I can see it may bring us together in better communication but she seems very reluctant to tear down her wall of lies and take any responsibility for our marriage including her involvement with her pastor. So I see a better growth for the kingdom of God but believe that for a turn around for her she will have to see how bad her pastor is using her and others and become repulsed against him and then she might come back to our marriage but I fear she will turn to some of the other men she values more then me. But from the verses above it is clear that I need to forgive and help grow God's kingdom even if the cost is my marriage.

The walk today was super nice almost 45 degrees lots of mud and yes I had to wear my mucks hehehehe had Lamay's dog barking while sniffing my finger tips because the street was to close to his car hehehehe. But was all good with no incidents. Got all 180 pushups in and had coat open the whole time. Since it is warm I may start on the handle for RV when my daughter wakes up. If it's still warm they talking lots of snow tonight then back to cold next week.  

The phone call tonight was short but kind of better. A little higher level 1 and 3 combined since we talked about what feelings we get get when reading a verse as opposed to reading for mental intake. 

But take my meds play some games and when the laundry room clears out maybe go fill up water jugs. See you all tomorrow