Day 119 is it really winter now

 

Well its the day the  cold blast hits so bracing for it. RV park owner got a tad bit upset yesterday because everyone is heating with electric and he doesn't want to pay an extra 1000 a month for electric when we should be using propane so guess I better test the heater and run it a couple of time so he knows I use it. Will probably be trying out my face covers today to protect my lungs from cold. Still pondering the thought of what my next steps should be. I want to hear from God but all the people I deal with seem to be distancing them selves and my wife seems to an extent making 1 effort to drop off a bill to me came on her own. But that was the only effort to try and communicate with me all other has been responding to me initiating. Well except the first 4 days of the month when I complained to the marriage counselor about it and he talked to her then she said good morning in a text 3 time before I did. But I soooo badly want a place to live and would really prefer to own because I kind of despise landlords hehehe. Finally got out and bundled up and walked. Wind ia blowing at 35mph and it's like 20 degrees without wind chill but I bought some new face masks and they worked great. Was comfortable the whole walk and got all my pushups in. Now I am back at the RV and warming under a blanket hehehe. Supposed to dip below zero tonight so will have to maybe kick the furnace on a few times. I do know if it runs it will drain a 6 gallon tank in 2 days and that's about 12 dollars a day to heat which I can't afford. Off grid makes so much sense hehehe. Did a lot of praying foe God to guide my steps and control my speech to do His will in what He wants me to do. I am just so confused and would like to know if I should be turning left or right    

So as I think about my wife I know she never apologizes or excepts blame. example I walk down the hallway and the furnace temperature control box is open so I say "do you want the furnce on and do you need help" her reply is with a face to match "I never touched the furnace". She criticizes everything and one and is the worst date you can ever take out and buy gifts for I had her toss a 200-dollar pair of earrings because they were not real diamonds but fake so she would never wear them grrrrr. That was 16 years ago and I have never bought her a gift since. She said she likes flowers except for 5 or 6 colors so I got her flowers for gifts all the time and then 6 years ago she started hating any of them I got grrrr. Now in marriage counseling, she says she wants to save the marriage but is very quick to point out that her brother and daughters don't want me around her. She even does things like Thanksgiving day she said, I have some plates fixed for you and amelia if you want to meet me in the street back by the ally I will give them to you. WHAT WHY well because her daughters were there so she would have to sneak it out of the house. To which I replied no thanks. She blames them and then tells them I am a crazy abusive killer and she fears for her life so she can have them to blame for our marriage going bad. Then in conversations it's always "somebody said to do this and that is what I  am going to do, you can do what ever you want." 

Now looking at this and thinking.... what if this death threat WAS a setup deal to make me jealous or run away which would mean she was wanting a divorce way back then and it back fired on her because I took it to the police and now she was in a bad spot. Which leads up to why she tells other men everything and I do mean everything but never talks to me.  Is it because she is advertising her self as open pants policy person or something. Grrrrr  but I looked up a person that doesn't except responsibility and she does every item they talk about. 

So since the wind is howling and the RV is shaking thought I would type this up and post it maybe someday it will mean something.

Ever met someone who always seems to have an excuse ready at hand, deflecting responsibility like a masterful dodgeball player?

We’ve all encountered individuals who excel at shirking accountability.

But what lies beneath this pattern of behavior? What drives someone to evade responsibility with such finesse?

The truth is, these 9 telltale behaviors offer a window into the complex psyche of those who refuse to own up to their actions.

In this article, we’ll explore the traits that define those who perpetually dodge accountability in life.

1) They’re masters of deflection

When confronted with their mistakes, these individuals exhibit a remarkable talent for evading accountability, deflecting blame in every conceivable direction but their own.

In their narrative, fault is a commodity to be distributed generously to others, never landing squarely on their shoulders.

Consider a workplace scenario: a collaborative project where each team member is tasked with specific responsibilities.

As the project deadline looms, it becomes apparent that one member, let’s say Emily, has failed to fulfill her obligations.

In a progress meeting, when Emily is questioned about her incomplete tasks, she swiftly shifts the blame onto her colleagues.

She asserts that she couldn’t fulfill her duties due to a lack of information from another team member and faults the project manager for unclear instructions.

Through this blame-shifting, Emily deftly sidesteps responsibility, refusing to acknowledge her own shortcomings and accountability in meeting her assigned obligations.

2) They always play the victim

It’s almost uncanny how certain individuals always seem to find themselves on the receiving end of life’s injustices.

In my own life, I’ve come across people who make a habit of playing the victim. I had a colleague once, let’s call him Mark.

No matter what went wrong at work, Mark was always the ‘innocent party’.

It was either someone else’s mistake, a miscommunication or just plain bad luck.

But here’s what I noticed. Every time Mark played the victim, it prevented him from looking at his own actions and seeing where he could improve.

He was so busy blaming others that he missed out on valuable opportunities for growth.

So, watch out for those who consistently portray themselves as the victim.

It’s often a sign that they’re avoiding responsibility for their part in the situation.

3) They have selective memory

Memory is a fascinating thing.

While most of us remember things as they happened, some people seem to recall events in a way that suits their narrative.

Those who avoid responsibility often conveniently forget the details that put them at fault.

They remember the parts where others messed up, but somehow, their own mistakes slip their minds.

Interestingly, research suggests that our memories aren’t as reliable as we think.

Every time we recall an event, we’re not remembering the event itself, but the last time we remembered it.

This gives room for manipulation and distortion over time.

This selective memory serves as a shield for those shifting blame, protecting them from the reality of their own shortcomings.

So if someone’s story seems to change in their favor over time, it might be a sign they’re dodging responsibility.

4) They lack empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It’s a crucial skill for forming meaningful relationships and it plays a significant role in accepting responsibility.

If someone has made a mistake that affects you, an empathetic person would recognize their error and apologize for any inconvenience caused.

They understand your viewpoint and accept their role in causing distress.

However, those who constantly shift blame often lack this quality.

For them, it’s about self-preservation, not understanding how their actions impact others.

They’re more focused on protecting their image than acknowledging their mistake.

5) They’re quick to criticize others

Ever noticed how some people are lightning-fast when it comes to pointing out the faults of others?

Yet, when it comes to their own mistakes, they’re not quite so keen-eyed.

Those who never take responsibility often find it easier to criticize others.

It’s a way of diverting attention from their own shortcomings.

If they’re busy pointing out what others did wrong, maybe no one will notice their own mistakes.

This constant criticism can be exhausting for those around them.

It creates a negative environment and hinders productive communication.

6) They’re resistant to change

Life is a constant journey of growth and change.

We learn from our mistakes, make adjustments, and try to become better versions of ourselves.

But for those who never take responsibility, this journey can be a difficult one.

These individuals often resist change.

It’s easier for them to stay in their comfort zones, repeating the same patterns and making the same mistakes, rather than face the discomfort of admitting they were wrong.

This resistance isn’t just harmful to them, but also to those around them.

It can lead to strained relationships and missed opportunities for growth.

It’s heartbreaking to see someone you care about stuck in a cycle of blame and denial, unable to move forward.

7) They avoid difficult conversations

Nobody enjoys uncomfortable discussions, but they’re a necessary part of life.

They help us address issues, clear misunderstandings and grow as individuals.

I remember a friend of mine who would always dodge difficult conversations.

Whenever we had a disagreement or there was an issue that needed addressing, she’d go silent or change the subject.

It was as if she hoped the problem would disappear if we didn’t talk about it.

But avoiding these conversations only leads to unresolved issues and strained relationships.

It’s a clear sign of someone unwilling to face their mistakes and take responsibility.

8) They’re masters of justification

Justification is a powerful tool in the hands of those avoiding responsibility. They have an explanation for everything, a reason why it’s never their fault.

These individuals can turn any situation around to appear as the innocent party.

Their mistakes are always due to external factors – unforeseen circumstances, other people’s actions, or just plain bad luck.

While it’s natural for anyone to justify their actions occasionally, consistent justification can be a red flag. It’s a way for them to avoid owning up to their mistakes and shift the blame onto others.

9) They’re reluctant to apologize

Apologizing is one of the most sincere and direct ways of accepting responsibility. It acknowledges that we’ve done something wrong and it shows respect for the people we’ve wronged. However, individuals who shift blame often struggle with this. Saying “I’m sorry” means admitting they were at fault, and that is something they tend to avoid. A reluctance to apologize, even when it’s clear they’ve made a mistake, is a strong indication of someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their actions. It’s a behavior that can damage relationships and hinder personal growth.

Protect your peace

In navigating interactions with individuals who consistently shirk accountability, it’s essential to prioritize self-protection and assertiveness. 

Here’s the thing: You cannot force someone to take responsibility for their actions, but you can set boundaries to safeguard your own well-being.

Therefore, trust your instincts and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by their blame-shifting tactics.

Also, encourage open communication and hold them accountable when necessary, but also be prepared to disengage if their behavior becomes toxic or harmful. 

Remember, your worth is not determined by their refusal to accept responsibility, and surrounding yourself with supportive and accountable individuals is crucial for your own growth and happiness.