Day 116 find how to be happy alone

 











I wonder what and if there is a true happiness of being alone. I mean I can go for walks and talking to myself and be content, and day dreaming certainly makes me happy key note being me. But I do know I am never ALONE because God is always with me and many times while walking or sitting idle He jumps in and starts talking.  But I do miss a passionate glance, a squeeze of my arm, or a long hug but those have been missing from my life for so many years it seems they are only in day dreams any more. I miss my puppies so much but I know my wife loves having the power over me because I have no place to keep them and that I miss them so bad.


 


They are Shamira first and Sarah second and they are sooooo loveable and fun. Sarah loves to help with all projects she even grabs my work gloves if I sit to long and says let's go work in the yard hehehe Shamira is a very caring and watchful dog she knows who is having difficulty like being sick or hurt and will stay by that person and tell others if they need help. What a great pair,  I do so much pray I can find a nice house in the country and get custody of my dogs. Talking today about all the people that hate me because of the lies my wife had been telling them for years my daughter mentioned that anything I do like finding the missing audio from my death threat or trying to get my puppies taken care of for health etc would make them or me feel better but would fuel the hate and lies even more making me the bigger villain then I already am. So looks like I am forced to act like I do not care because of a village of hate. Went for my walk today and it was good to see new foot prints in the snow. I have noticed about 3 different footprints that have started walking around the fairgrounds although I have not seen whom it is that is walking hehehe but today I saw a new set of shoes walking up and down orchard Ave so maybe someone else is getting inspired to walk. Sure would be nice to have them to walk with but at least I can say I inspired someone. Well bad phone call experience with the wife tonight so I am going to fume and play games. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year 1.4 soot sooty

Image
  This is the day the Lord has made. I still am upset that this day will pass so quickly and I will have nothing to reflect upon except the speed at which it went by. I am still homeless and lonely and praying for help and rescue yet the adversary is still parading around and gleaming in the happiness of their lies and getting everything the world can give them while I scrape to survive and pray for every speck of love God will give me. I watch as the people around increase in violence and rage and hangings and shootings and assassination threats become the everyday normal. People killing each other without regard to other lives and all for the idea of a skin color, a monetary status, a better idea of life, etc. God is shut away and satan rules the lives around me. I am hated and isolated for the peace of God comfort and protection. There is no way God will fix my marriage because the hate and attempted murder. God will keep me away by their hate to protect me. There is no way God ...
Read more

Year 1.178 noise noise

Image
  This mornings daily devotional email was in my inbox today so the battle rages on. This morning the noise is loud and I mean loud. Starting at 5am cars starting and reving up and car alarms going off and sirens racing past the camper. All with the level like they were inside beside me. The noise and busy still echo and pound and the world is trying to be noticed. It's like satan is driving the point of the associate pastor in the police car straight at me. But God let's a devotional email through this morning about using Gods lens on the out come of our world.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. ~ 1 Corinthians 9:27 NIV The saying "mind over matter" is missing one word—spiritual. It should read "spiritual mind over matter," but the overlying theme remains true no matter the version you use. This phrase speaks to the power of your thoughts and how all ...
Read more

Day 244 the memorial day weekend whoppee

Image
  Maybe I am just seeing the negative in my marriage and wanting it to end. Should I be concerned that my wife does not respect me. Should it not bother me that she only talks to other men and leaves the house to stand in the yard so I can't hear. Should I care that she doesn't talk to me at all about anything to do with other people and that her social media life is totally a secret life from me. Should I worry that she tells other family members to hate me and try to drive me away.  It just seems so hard to be in a world like this and think that is what God wants for me.  Today's devotional was about hopes and this is my hope. This is soooo true and everyday when I go on my walks Jesus is right there loving me the whole walk. And I see it weather it's the dogs that run to the fences with toys and wagging tails just to see me wave hi or the squirrels sitting on fence posts watching do pushups. Or the horses and cows running up the fences for a good head scratch.  Je...
Read more