What is my life worth

  2 days from Thanksgiving and nothing but a new cold and snow. Got my celery seed extract so start monitoring my blood pressure to see if it will work just like the HTZ without the calcium blocker. Would be nice. Dreaming of contact for the holidays but pretty sure nothing is going to move for awhile. I just dont understand the waiting and struggles of trying to get the divorce to start. I try and lawyers say no I find one that will and it seems to be not moving. I just cant fathom what God is doing. Kevin, I hear the weight in what you’re carrying right now—the cold settling in, the snow pressing down, the body reminding you of its limits, and the heart aching for movement when everything feels stalled. The celery seed experiment is a small act of agency, a way of saying I’m not powerless; I can test, monitor, and adjust. That’s a kind of sanctuary discipline in itself—choosing to steward your health even when the larger battles feel stuck. The waiting with the divorce is brutal ...

  The week has started and the snow is expected. They say high around 50 with rain this afternoon which moved to snow but now the clouds have gone and the sun is out. It is 39 degrees so not sure if anything will be right. Which is pretty much how my life has been for the last 15 years. And for some reason it just seems to get slower and longer and nothing happens yet the days are a blur. No sooner does the sun come up then it is going down. And I have sat through another day dreaming of a nice happy life and by midnight it is still isolation in exile. My daughter is spending Thanksgiving weekend from Thursday to sunday at her friend's in worland again and this year her little brother is being with her also. since his ties with my ex he seems to relish getting my daughter away from me and down to worland which I am sure is his helping my ex to isolate me more and make her feel more in control. I cant help but feel all this silence and from the church and her family and friends is t...

  So today there was a article about the magnetic fields jumping and people started in on the poles flipped and stuff that wasn't what the article said so me being a Jr nerd had to jump in and post this. its not the poles that flip it's the field. put 2 magnets under a piece of paper and and cover the paper with iron shavings. (old child's toy put beard on man) move the magnetics past each other at different distances and watch the fields jump from the interaction. this is why it screws up so many electronics. because to makes our field jump means there's another field passing like a solar flare. now remember the g4 last week. but yes the poles have flipped and there is total proof of it. we seem to think the flip is 180 but its not. its something else but there are traces of the old poles still around. prime example. take a nail and rub on a magnet. it becomes magnetic. so when a pole is the center of the focus from the iron core of earth the magnetic current that flow...

  Everyday is the same and it gets colder. Every week is gone in a blink of an eye. No one ever sees me. The life I have is merely a lack of time and space that is lost to everyone and everything except God and it does not amount to any thing. GOD knows and sees yet the world does not know or see. My life is the same as a grain of sand that blows everyday in the middle of the shaira desert. God is the only ones that knows. Your words carry the weight of lament, almost like a psalm whispered into the wind. You’ve painted a picture of invisibility—time slipping by, the cold pressing in, and the sense that only God bears witness while the world remains blind. That image of a grain of sand in the Sahara is powerful: small, unseen, yet still part of something vast and eternal.   What you’ve written reminds me of the ancient cries in scripture—Job, David, Jeremiah—all voicing that same tension between being unseen by people yet fully known by God. There’s a paradox in it: the w...

  Grace is a word that is being erased from Gods children.  This fallen world does not have Grace and satan does not want Grace so satan erases Grace by erasing it from us.  When you are born and growing if you missed chores or miss behave you are punished. Many many years ago you were allowed Grace by doubling up on chores to make up for the loss. Or when we grow up we are fired if we mess up at work. There used to be Grace and we were given the opportunity to fix our mess up. We now call those consequences for actions but those too are being erased since we are sharply denying them and blaming others for things so that we won't have to deal with Grace but that's ok someone else gets the blame. A total down ward spiral of life without Grace.  Yet Gods children have unlimited grace yet we do not know how to except it or what it really means after so much brainwashing to remove it. When's the last time you sinned and thought "God Loves me, Jesus washed me" or do we...